i've been a victim before and although things are doing fine right now, i still wonder how things could have led to that point and how i could protect myself against it. i don't know if it's a disease that's incurable but i can feel it creeping in my skin, making me uneasy and full of anxiety whenever i think about it.
tonight, the disease has gotten stronger. i started wondering, if what has happened before was just a phase that can be forgotten, or a warning, like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. should i be more cautious, more prepared with what's gonna happen next?
i was once told by a friend that infidelity is a sign of discontent. that he cheated on me because he was not satisfied with me. which brings me to another question ... so is this my fault or his? of course, pride would make me deny that it was my fault, and of course, his ego would cause him to deny that it was his. so how can i get a fair judgment?
is infidelity hereditary? do you do it because your family has done it too? my dad had his second wife when i was 10. i was told that he kept it from my mom for quite awhile but when i got to talk to my dad, he told me that it was long over between him and my mom when he decided to fall with someone else. his explanation got stuck in my mind ... and to this day, i had made a vow that regardless how hard it gets, separation will never be an option and infidelity will never be my way out of marriage. but how long should i fight for it? how far do i have to go to keep this working?
right now, the water is calm, there is no current testing our marriage but if it does happen again, i suppose that would be my last fight. as i've mentioned before, i am tired of fighting for something that keeps slipping away from me. i'm still not ready to cross the bridge when it happens but i feel like what i've done in the past is enough to damage for me. i couldn't, wouldn't allow myself to be trampled.
i know i sound anxious. i am ...
tonight, the disease has gotten stronger. i started wondering, if what has happened before was just a phase that can be forgotten, or a warning, like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. should i be more cautious, more prepared with what's gonna happen next?
i was once told by a friend that infidelity is a sign of discontent. that he cheated on me because he was not satisfied with me. which brings me to another question ... so is this my fault or his? of course, pride would make me deny that it was my fault, and of course, his ego would cause him to deny that it was his. so how can i get a fair judgment?
is infidelity hereditary? do you do it because your family has done it too? my dad had his second wife when i was 10. i was told that he kept it from my mom for quite awhile but when i got to talk to my dad, he told me that it was long over between him and my mom when he decided to fall with someone else. his explanation got stuck in my mind ... and to this day, i had made a vow that regardless how hard it gets, separation will never be an option and infidelity will never be my way out of marriage. but how long should i fight for it? how far do i have to go to keep this working?
right now, the water is calm, there is no current testing our marriage but if it does happen again, i suppose that would be my last fight. as i've mentioned before, i am tired of fighting for something that keeps slipping away from me. i'm still not ready to cross the bridge when it happens but i feel like what i've done in the past is enough to damage for me. i couldn't, wouldn't allow myself to be trampled.
i know i sound anxious. i am ...
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