a marriage has to be built to stand the test of time. it has to make each being strong, stronger than they've known they can be. i can't say the same for my marriage. we have already withstood the test of times. some of the trials we've gone through are not the easiest to swallow. what pains me is when i enter into a bad situation and i am expected to fight by myself. i am not a hypocrite, i do make mistakes .... sometimes it seems like i make more mistakes than right ones. i always thought i could go through these mistakes in a breeze because my husband is there to support me. i was wrong.

today,i've proven myself wrong. i know that it was my fault from the start but to be left alone to deal with this is something i can't do. i am not that strong. i thought my husband would help me get through this. i was wrong.

i am afraid to believe it but it does seem that he only loves me because he needs me. since i've got nothing to offer at this point, i was left alone to fight this battle. whatever's gonna happen to me today is uncertain but i know for sure that i will never ever believe in him anymore. i am not that strong, but i am brave enough to stand up on my own again.